As soon as the clock struck midnight 12 on New Year’s Eve, you’d likely already heard at least 12 jokes about New Year’s resolutions — and how they are doomed to fail, including this one:
May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions.
But, let’s be honest — historically speaking, for all our well-intentioned efforts, resolutions often do fail. Why? Because we are hoping against hope (and experience) that this new year will be different (somehow) and prove to be the catalyst for a whole new life. And when we misstep — as we will — or fall, we consider it abject failure, and we don’t get back up.
Now, as a runner who has fallen (don’t get me started) I’m all about getting back up. So, after many false starts, as 2023 unfolds, I can honestly say:
I don’t make resolutions. I set goals.
Let me explain. Many popular “resolutions” are about changing the things we don’t like about ourselves — our weight or fitness level, our economic prospects, our career, our relationships. They’re also often based on negative states of mind such as fear, shame, or desperation. And, because they start from those highly emotional places, it can be hard to shape them into something coherent. We tend to verbalize resolutions as absolutes, which simply don’t work in our very human and fallible lives.
Now, I’m not saying that we shouldn’t strive for continuous improvement; in fact, I believe that a life well lived requires constant learning and continual growth. But I also believe we shouldn’t expect to magically change who we are as people, fundamentally. And certainly not overnight.
But goals, I like.
Goals are about forward progress. They are smaller steps that propel us forward. Move us towards something achievable, and something to celebrate. And because achieving a goal — even a small one — feels good, they are exponential tools that can lead to incredible rewards.
Of course, achieving a goal requires resolve. But, here’s the key: it also requires actionable steps.
If you have a “master goal” in mind, break it down into smaller goals that will help you get to the finish line. And, when you set those smaller goals, keep the SMART rule in mind: Specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, time bound.
Here are some common New Year’s resolutions and how you might translate them into achievable goals. (Remember, these are just examples, so grab a pen and paper and create your own list!):
RESOLUTION:
Exercise every single day. Now, in theory, this sounds reasonable. But if this isn’t already a normal daily habit, it’s difficult to achieve. It’s also unrealistic, particularly if you become ill, injured, or simply overwork your muscles and need to rest. And, I promise you, life will find a way to interfere.
GOAL:
Complete a Couch-to-5k. “Couch to 5K” is a free program that takes people from their couch to walking or running a 5K (3.1 miles) race in 9 weeks. I love this program because it’s accessible. It’s SMART (see above). It includes rest days. And, it helps to build the habits needed to sustain regular exercise.
RESOLUTION:
Achieve better work/life balance. In my resolution days, this topped the list. I would thump my chest and declare that “this would be the year” I would give “more” to my family than I did the year before. It is hardly realistic to think that the turn of the year could magically shift the balance. And, unless you formulate the “how,” that balance will remain elusive.
GOAL:
Schedule a family or friends get-together once a week. Have everyone take turns picking the restaurant, movie, or location. And don’t give up! If you encounter resistance, keep the invitations flowing. Eventually, the timing will work out and you just might have started a new tradition.
RESOLUTION:
Find a new job. I hear this one often as each year draws to a close. I don’t know if it’s a result of pent-up dissatisfaction or a genuine desire to shift a career trajectory. I just know that it can be deflating and unproductive if you don’t establish what it is you are looking for before leaving a current situation. So, if you’re thinking “I’m outta here!” you really “oughta know” where it is you’re going.
GOAL
Find work that’s meaningful to you. This is an example of what I call a “master goal.” First, set your goal timeline. Then, develop a career plan; outline what you like about your current company, team, and role. Identify the gaps and then determine if your list necessitates making a move. And, if you decide that leaving is best, assign yourself time-bound, doable tasks that will help you find the right-fit opportunity.
So, here’s my final tip for a happy new year: Rip up those resolutions and get set your sights on goals instead. It just might make this new year feel really different.